An ode to EastEnders – Who Killed Lucy Beale?

An ode to EastEnders – Who Killed Lucy Beale?



Who Killed Lucy Beale?


As Thursday approaches, all through the land,

Viewers are wondering whose dastardly hand

Is behind the grisly events of Good Friday last

When poor Lucy Beale did take her last gasp.

The bookies are cheering as they get the best deal

In the ongoing saga of Who Killed Lucy Beale?

Could it be Max who wanted her dead?

He’s got no moral compass, it’s got to be said. 

But what about Peter, a twin said to be loyal?

Could he have left her to die in the soil?

And don’t forget Abi, with a visage so sweet,

Beneath that innocent face the heart of a killer may beat.

Then there’s Ian himself, a dad now wracked with grief

He could have lost all control, in a moment so brief.

The troubled young Ben with his murderous ways

Has form when it comes to these deathly displays:

Remember poor Hev who took that fatal whack    

As Ben grabbed hold of a picture frame and launched his attack?

But could it be Dot who will make us all gasp

As she confesses to murder in her unmistakeable rasp?

One thing’s for certain – viewing figures will rise,

And the cast and the crew prepare to go live.

As the suspects line up throughout Albert Square

We wait for the climax of this morbid affair.

So we wish them all well and get ready to go,

“It was Grant Mitchell wot done it, he’s back from Ri-o!”

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